Table of Contents
It is critical to have priorities in recovery. The priority should always be you and your sobriety. Many people struggle with “learning to love yourself first,” because they feel like they have been so selfish and destructive in active addiction, and it’s time to give back. Yes, giving back is important, but it is important to remember that without your sobriety, everything else falls apart — it must come first. The good news is that there are many means, methods, and modalities that can help you prioritize yourself and self-love first.
Recovery Priorities: Learning to Love Yourself First
Many recovery communities stand on a foundation of “we will love you until you learn to love yourself.” This is because they understand that learning to love yourself first must occur if you are going to have any hope of giving genuine love to anyone else.
However, many people struggle with self-love in recovery because they feel like they don’t deserve it. This is the guilt and shame that often accompany addiction and, thus, recovery as well.
In fact, shame and guilt often create a negative “cycle” that can keep someone struggling with their addiction. According to the peer-reviewed journal PLoS ONE, “The ‘shame addiction cycle’ refers to a pattern of substance use to escape or avoid negative self-conscious emotions that paradoxically leads to increased shame related to the stigma of being a person who uses substances. The experience of self-conscious emotions indicates social evaluative threat from negative appraisals by others, which may not only perpetuate substance use but also elicit physiological stress, including triggering the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis stress responses, such as initiating inflammation.” This is the cycle that self-love combats.
Sobriety: You Have to Do It for You
At the end of the day, you have to get sober for yourself. Yes, many people come into recovery because they are faced with consequences, but if those consequences are the only thing keeping you sober, there remains a high potential for relapse. This is because we can only control ourselves and our own actions. When we link our sobriety with outside influences, it can be dangerous.
It is also important to remember that you are the only one you are accountable to. So, when outside influences go away, will you be able to stay sober on your own? That is why establishing a recovery program that puts self-love at the forefront is so important.
Recognizing That You Have a Problem
Of course, before you can even focus on self-love, you need to be able to realize that there may be a problem. Many people are in denial and don’t recognize when they or a loved one is struggling with addiction. The following are just a few of the universal signs and symptoms that you or a loved one may be struggling with addiction:
- Feeling anxious, nervous, or overly stressed
- Having feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and helplessness
- Loss of appetite and a lack of care regarding physical appearance and well-being
- Exhibiting excessive mood swings
- Isolating away from family and close friends
- Experiencing trouble at work or school
- Not being able to stop drinking or using once started
- Losing interest in activities once enjoyed
- Having trouble with sleep cycles, including sleeping too much and not sleeping enough
- Experiencing physical ailments such as headaches, body aches, and gastrointestinal problems (like constipation)
- Causing harm to oneself or others
- Having suicidal ideations
As you can see, these are both very obvious and sometimes covert signs and symptoms. This is why reaching out for professional help as soon as you think there might be a problem is critical. It could mean the difference between short-term side effects and long-term consequences.
How to Put Yourself First With Recovery Modalities
Most recovery modalities focus on putting you and your recovery at the forefront. This includes psychotherapeutic modalities like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).
DBT can be particularly helpful because it focuses on helping you be mindful and accept your situation exactly as it is, so you can then begin to focus on changing it for the better. According to the peer-reviewed journal Psychiatry (Edgmont), “In DBT, several interventions and skills are geared toward conveying acceptance of the patient and helping the patient accept him or herself, others, and the world. One such intervention is mindfulness. In DBT, mindfulness skills help patients attend to what is happening in the present. Some of the mindfulness skills involve attending to and nonjudgmentally observing the current experience, describing the facts of the current experience or situation, and fully participating in the activity/experience of the present….”
Our Primary Purpose at Lantana Recovery
Here at Lantana Recovery, our primary purpose is to help you recover by any means necessary. That includes ensuring that you put yourself and your recovery first.
If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, and looking for self-love, then the time for recovery is now. You can do this! We can help.
Self-love and personal focus are critical in recovery. It is important to understand that there are multiple ways of showing yourself love in recovery and how self-love can also open you up to healthy relationships in recovery. The key is to focus on yourself first, and the rest will eventually follow. If you feel like you or a loved one is struggling with issues of mental illness, addiction, or co-occurring disorders, we can help get you on the right road to recovery right away. You don’t have to go through this process alone. For more information about loving yourself in recovery, please reach out to Lantana Recovery today at (866) 997-2870.
